White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
