seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
