I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
