i think i have herpe
just one?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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