Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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