So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
