she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
