she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have aggressive nipples.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
