People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
