I must be too annoying 4 u.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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