I wanna passion pit in your ass
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
