I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
two words: eviction party
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
