Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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