I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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