The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
