Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
