that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
