you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
