Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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