What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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