Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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