Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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