YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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