Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize