oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
