Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
