I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize