I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
