Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize