Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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