We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize