i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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