just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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