Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
