thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
