In the future we'll all be gay
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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