dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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