apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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