I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
