It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize