Its about making memories worth repressing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
