yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
