Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He kissed a someone with a penis
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
