after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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