I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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