that's an acceptable place to lick
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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