for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
