I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
