Do vagina's smell?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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