Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize