Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
