is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
