clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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