Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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