I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
