yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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