i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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