whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
