sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
