ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
