He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
