Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
