she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
is wine microwaveable?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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